OswegoNYlion.com
RIVER CITY USA
SEX, drugs, perversion, crooked politicians, cheating spouses, skullduggery, intrigue and more


SEX!

HOME      NEWS   BULLETIN BOARD      AUNT BIDDY      LINKS

Click Here or send to editor@oswegonylion.com

It was the best of times.

It was the worst of times.
It was River City USA

Far from the maddening crowds of urban America and nestled on the shores of
Lake Ontario in Upstate New York  lies the backward little town of River City.

Once a thriving shipping and manufacturing center, River City like so many others
has fallen victim to the economic woes of the 21st Century.

As taxes rise ever higher and family incomes shrink the residents of this sleepy little
city become increasingly intolerant of their corrupt leaders and indifferent
neighbors. Friends turn against friends and neighbors against neighbors and during
the turmoil the city fathers continue to live the high life at the expense of the
impoverished residents.

There are SEX, drugs, perversion, crooked politicians, cheating spouses,
skullduggery, intrigue and more SEX!

Don’t touch that dial don’t miss even one episode of the continuing saga of RIVER
CITY USA!

The events and characters portrayed in River City are in no way meant reflect the actions or lives of real individuals
and any supposed resemblance to real people or other cities is purely coincidental.

                                                           Episode 1  
                                                  "Doctor Cucinare"
It was just another meeting like so many others. There were no hot topics to be
discussed and no urgent business to be conducted. Then the mayor produced a
letter, which he began to read to all in attendance.  There was much praise for the
politicians and for the city workers who had done so much to maintain and improve
the city that the authors held so dear. They told how much they looked forward to
returning to their fair city every spring after vacationing in Florida and there were
thank yous and kudos for all. The letter was signed by doctor and Mrs. Cucinare.

Without a thought one of the reporters in attendance blurted out the words “child
molester.”
He quickly surveyed the room to see if anyone had heard him. Apparently not
because aside from some disparaging glances from his colleagues no one seemed to
pay any attention.
The other reporters were younger and not native to River City. They did not know
the secrets of the good doctor’s tainted past.

Many years ago one of the town’s most respected doctors, and it is said the last
one to make house calls, decided it was time to retire. When he did, Dr. La Fleur
passed on his practice to Dr.Cucinare.

The Cucinares were readily accepted into the community even though they were of
an offbeat religious sect and River City was predominantly Catholic. Doctor
Cucinare was already well in to middle age and if there was a reason for his
departure from his last practice it was not widely known and certainly not talked
about. Even when he abruptly changed his practice from family medicine to
geriatrics no one questioned the reasons behind it.

What few people in River City knew was that the good doctor had a special
attraction to the bodies of his young patients, boys and girls alike.

His office was in the downstairs of an older home and consisted of a waiting room a
receptionist area and one examination room. He had no nurses and when he closed
the sliding doors that separated the exam room from the rest of the office many of
his young patients fell victim to his sick and twisted fantasies. Using no gloves he
meticulously inspected, probed, and caressed the nipples, breasts, and genital of his
patients of both sexes to the extreme that some were aroused and others became
ringing wet with perspiration. Many an unsuspecting parent sent their adolescent
children to the altar of this depraved man masquerading as a family doctor.

Most of his victims were silent, ashamed or were not believed and I am sure that
the local officials of River City, many of who were themselves pedophiles and sexual
deviants did everything they could to cover up the misdeeds of one of their
confederates. It was another of may dirty little secrets but it remained very vivid
and very real in the minds of his victims.

So why was the mayor reading this letter from such vile resident whom so many
residents had chosen to forget? The mayor is of the age of many of the victims and
surely he had heard of the stories. Why would he associate himself with this
degenerate by reading his patronizing letter? Could it be that the doctor had only
retired from medicine and was still active in the local group of pedophiles, swingers,
and perverts. Is it possible that the mayor of River City is also a member of this
secret group of sickos?

There are many stories and many secrets in River City. This is just a small part of
one of them.


                                                             Episode 2                                   
                              
                                        "The Mayor"

The people of River City, like those of other communities in upstate New York were
facing yet another cold winter with higher fuel and energy costs and a tax burden
that was forcing many families to sell their homes for what ever they could get and
seek a better life somewhere, anywhere else. Needless to say there were many
unhappy people in River City.

But not everyone was feeling the scourge of the taxman. In a local theme bar,
Murphy’s Irish Pub, there was a large gathering of students from the local college.
Every Friday night Murphy would put out free bar snacks and appetizers then
pretend not to notice that the customers were not the legal age for consuming
alcohol. This was a common practice in River City and one for which it had become
famous throughout Central New York.

On this particular night there was an older man mixing in with the crowd. He had
come later in the evening when many of the young patrons had begun to feel the
effects of the nights partying. He was well dressed and impeccably manicured from
head to toe. His skin was a light bronze and he had a smile that women found quite
attractive. One might say he resembled a Greek god in designer clothes.

Within seconds he had surveyed the room and as he approached a slightly tipsy
young blonde at the bar, Murphy called out “what will it be your honor?”  The man
replied, “Why I’ll have what ever this pretty little thing is having”.  

By that time the two had made eye contact and were facing each other. Silently the
two scrutinized each other. She was about five feet four without the three inch
spiked heels.
Her jeans hung below her perfect naval like a crescent moon adjacent to Venus. By
this time his hands had cupped her buttocks, which were round and firm and
seemed almost struggling to burst from their denim restraints. Gazing downward he
could see two soft white breasts, which were barely contained by a black-laced
brazier that had been exposed through a shear white blouse, undone to the third
button and tied at the midriff.

They were now almost nose-to-nose and neither had said a word. She reached to
her side and picked up her glass of Guinness. The glass tipped too far and she was
left with a foamy mustache. As she reached for a napkin he grabbed her hand
saying, “no let me”. With that he clasped her face in his hands and gently began to
kiss and lick the foam from her upper lip. In no time the two were engaged in a
passionate exchanged that partly resembled a Vulcan mind meld and partly
advanced CPR with perhaps a bit of sword play thrown in.

After what seemed like an eternity their lips parted and he said, “I see you have
had your tonsils out. Was it painful?”….

“Wow”… she exclaimed,  ”you sure don’t waste any time do you?”  

“As soon as I walked in I could see that you were the hottest thing in the room. I
could feel a chemistry between us. It was like I was being drawn to you.”

Well my name is Amber she replied. Who are you? I heard the bartender call you
“your honor” or something. Are you some kind of prince?

Oh well, that’s just because I am the mayor here in River City.

I don’t believe it. Prove it to me she said.

Like a gunslinger unholstering a six-shooter he drew his designer wallet from the
right rear pocket of his designer jeans and with equally lightening speed he
produced a Master Card with his own picture on it. Sure enough it said official
Master Card of River City, N.Y.  Adonis P. Lovenuts...Mayor.

Do you believe me now he said? I always try to be honest whether it is in politics,
business or a relationship. I don’t like liars.

Well if you are so honest then what is that ring on your finger? Maybe you should
go home to your wife.

It is true. I am married but it has been over between us for years now. You see one
day I came home unexpectedly and found my wife in bed making love with another
woman.

He paused for a moment as a tear ran down his cheek.

I was crushed at first and then I began to drink. I went out with a different woman
every night. I just didn’t care anymore. Luckily my faith saved me. At first we
remained together pretending to be a happy couple for the children’s sake.
Sometimes I even indulged her fantasies by participating with her and multiple
partners but I just couldn’t do that. I will always be a monogamous creature. Now
the children are grown and gone and she agrees to be discrete in her affairs and
we attend social functions together but we do not share the same bed. Sadly I have
not been intimate with a woman for many years now. I don’t know why I came
here tonight it was as if some compelling force were driving me. And now I have
met you,.. Amber,.. such a pretty name for such a pretty girl.

Amber, who’s eyes were now glistening from her own tears pulled Adonis closer,
and pressing his face into the soft black lace of her double Ds she kissed him gently.

What will be the fate of mayor Lovenuts?
Will it be... Three on a Posturepedic?.... OR. …Forever Amber?



There are many stories and many secrets in River City. This is just a small part of
one of them.


                                         Episode 3

"Desperate Lies- Desperate Wives"

When last we visited River City the town mayor Adonis P. Lovenuts was being
consoled by the beautiful Amber, after his heartfelt revelation that Misses Lovenuts
was a lesbian and no longer shared his bed.

How embarrassing it must be for a person of your character and position to be
chained to such an uncaring woman, Amber told him, I would do anything to help
ease your pain.

Well, when you put it that way, Adonis began, if you could just spend the night
with me. It would be so comforting to feel the warmth of another human being and
to wake up next to someone whose face I do not despise.

But of course of course you poor thing she whispered as she planted a big wet kiss
on his lips nearly sucking the life out of his slender frame while at the same time
transferring a double layer of lip stick and gloss to the mouth of Adonis.

My room mate is cramming for exams and it’s a small apartment so I can’t take you
home with me and we certainly don’t want to walk in on your wife and one of her
girlfriends, maybe we should take a rain check she said.

Faster than superman could change his underwear Adonis pulled out a cell phone
and speed dialed someone using the number 11.  Mike, he said, it’s Adonis, I need a
place for tonight. I am having that rock and a hard place problem can you help me
out?

Mike owned a local motel and was indebted to the mayor for numerous
improvements that were don to his properties at the expense of the people of River
City.

Then nodding his head in an affirmative motion Adonis said you’re a real buddy
Mike I’ll take care of you as usual.

It’s all set he said to Amber, are you ready?

Just a minute she replied, I need to call my roommate so she won’t worry. With
phone in hand she said I’ll have to go outside I can’t get a good connection in here.
Quickly she ducked out the side door and punched in a number as she looked
around to see if anyone was within listening distance.  Hello….Hello… mom, it’s me
Amber. I’m at the library and I just met up with Cindy and some friends from
school. I am going to spend the night at Cindy’s. Don’t worry I’ll be home in time
for you to take me to cheerleading practice see ya.

Whether it was chemistry, karma or some cosmic force that propelled these two
souls we may never know but at this moment the two of them were locked into a
collision course that could only end in some unforeseen disaster.

After paying the bill with his River City Master Card and leaving a generous tip for
Murphy the newly formed couple headed for the door. It had started to rain so
Adonis told her to wait there. In a few minutes a small white van pulled up and
beeped the horn. In large letters on the side of it was painted “Adonis Hardware
LLC, …You’ll like our bolts, but you’ll love our nuts.”
Amber made her way quickly through the rain and around the puddles and then
grasping Adonis’s outstretched hand she swung her tightly packed jeans into the
front seat.

A few minutes later they had arrived at their destination, room 11 at the No Tell
Motel.
With his own key Adonis opened the door then turned to Amber saying let me do
this right. He bent down sweeping Amber up off of her feet and carried her into the
room.
I am very impressed she exclaimed. You’re so good-looking and strong too.

The room was sparsely furnished but clean and sitting in a Rubbermaid container
filled with ice was six-pack of Budweiser that had been chilled to precisely 42
degrees Fahrenheit.

With two flicks of her soft white ankles the spiked heels went flying in different
directions and Adonis slowly loosened his hold on her curvaceous body as it slid
down the front of his.

Within seconds the two of them were clawing at each other. Fumbling fingers
feverishly attempted to undo an obstacle course of buttons, snaps zippers and the
odd hook or two.

Then just as suddenly as they had begun the two abruptly stopped. The room was
completely dark except for the flashing light of the NO VACANCY sign in the parking
lot. Slowly they began to devour each other with their eyes. Adonis was totally
naked and with the red glow from the sign on his bouffant hairdo he vaguely
resembled and Irish Setter, “on point”.

Amber he discovered was wearing a matching lace thong; which perfectly accented
her hip lines.

Stepping back Amber reached behind her, unhooking the last two safeguards that
restrained her buxom breasts. Slowly she pushed the right strap from her shoulder
and then the left letting the brazier fall to the floor. Stating just below her naval she
guided her thumbs outward to her hips and with one push downward and a slight
wiggle of her thighs the black lace thong had fallen next to it’s mate.

Then like voracious carnivores they began to attack one another as they fell onto
the bed. Each seemed compelled to explore, caress and devour every appendage,
every sensuous area of the others body.

Adonis was a man of some experience but never before had he encountered
someone like Amber. He was so excited that in a matter of five or ten minutes his
moment of ecstasy had come and gone. As a matter of pride he did his best
continue but his age was becoming a factor. Amber sensing that Adonis was
beginning to peter out reached over to the nightstand where Adonis’s pants had
come to rest. She quickly slid his belt out of the loops and doubled it over. Then
with all the might she could muster she smacked Adonis across the flanks as hard
as she could, twice in rapid succession and in a child like voice she said, I’ve been a
bad girl daddy. Punish me! Punish me!

Surprising even himself, Adonis sprung back into action. Amber was like a sexual
juggernaut and Adonis was just getting up another head of steam as the two
repeated their ritual over and over again until both had passed out from exhaustion.

The first rays of the next mornings sun woke Amber from her shortened sleep and
she went into the bath room and plopped her exhausted butt down on the cold
seat. Her movements had also awakened Adonis who swung his feet over the side
of the bed then grabbed one of the remaining lukewarm Budwisers and snapped it
open. Flat-footed he staggered his way to the bathroom door where Amber told
him to “wait a minute I am in here”.

I cant wait he replied as he barged in. Then setting his beer in the soap dish he held
himself with both hands as he began to urinate into the sink and belch at the same
time.

Angrily Amber shouted out “PIG” just as there was a knock at the door.

Still naked as a jaybird and holding his beer Adonis opened it to find Sergeant Head
of the River City Police Department.

Oh it’s you, Dick! Come on in.

As Sgt. Head entered the room he scrutinized the tangled mess of clothes and bed
sheets strewn about the room.

Just then a call came over his radio. PD 1 …to… PD 5 … Sgt. Head replied PD 5 go….
did you find him, the voice questioned? That’s affirmative chief. He is over here in
the mayoral suite. I am talking to him right now….PD 5 out.

Ah… mayor there is a situation over at your house that needs your immediate
attention.

Just then Amber peered out from behind the bathroom door and seeing Sgt. Head
she quickly closed it.

Now whispering, Head leaned over to Adonis and said, Is that who I think it is?

Whispering right back Adonis said, I don’t know Dick. Who do you think it is?

Amber Suggar, he replied.

Still whispering Adonis said well the Amber part is right but I am not sure about the
last name. You see we haven’t been formally introduced.

But mayor she is only seventeen. She is a senior at River City High. She is on the
varsity cheerleading squad. My god mayor, you are old enough be her father.  

Actually Dick, I think she sees me more as her daddy.

With that said, he told Sgt. Head to wait outside while he said his good buys and
then he would follow him back to his house.

Amber now had hurried out of the bathroom and was searching the debris for her
clothes.

Adonis explained that he had some urgent city business to attend to and that he
would call her latter.

On his way out the door Nancy, the cleaning woman yelled to him saying I hope
you didn’t trash the place again. Every time I have to clean up after you I feel like a
crime seen investigator.

Ignoring her comments he yelled back saying, how about putting a few more
towels in the bath room?

Countering with a barb of her own, she yelled, how about bringing back some of
the ones you have at home?

The sight of the River City Police pulling up to the home of Mayor Lovenuts was not
uncommon nor was the altercation taking place on the front lawn.

Standing on the front porch was Mrs. Lovenuts, a tall statuesque, mature woman
with high cheekbones, shoulder length hair and a voice like a foghorn. On the
sidewalk was Elizabeth Goodwench (nicknamed Roadmap) a much younger woman
equally as tall with blond hair whose face and body had not yet begun to show the
signs of age.
Between the two were strewn about the lawn, the entire contents of Adonis’s
designer wardrobe and behind every shade and curtain on the street the neighbors
watched as another River City drama play itself out.

Because we have a sensitive adult audience, which includes the members of the
River City Board of Education, I will not go into the details of her nickname at this
time.

When Adonis and officer Head arrived the argument between the two turned into a
shouting match with Mrs. Lovenuts having and obviously unfair advantage.

YOU WANT HIM, THERE HE IS, TAKE  HIM, bellowed Mrs. Lovenuts.

Firing right back Goodwench yelled, I DONT WANT HIM, YOU KEEP HIM!



At this point Sgt. Head began to coax Goodwench back into her car and Adonis was
pushing his wife into the house and closing the front door behind him.

Once inside Adonis swore to his wife that Liz Goodwench was an old girlfriend from
before they had been married. He explained that she had had some mental
problems over the years, which he thought had been taken care of but obviously he
was wrong. He assured his wife that officer Head would keep an eye out and make
sure that  
Goodwench did not continue to stalk either one of them in the future.

Mrs. Lovenuts put her head on Adonis’s shoulder and began to rub his back but as
she did he winced with pain. What is wrong she asked.

I had the most terrible night he began to tell her. I stopped by Murphy’s after the
council meeting last night and was having a drink with some of the guys and
suddenly I felt dizzy and blacked out. Everything else is like a bad dream he said. I
dreamt that I was tied to a bed and this little dark skinned dwarf with long ratty
black hair and wearing nothing but a leather vest, was whipping me while some
beautiful blond girl was yelling Punish Me Daddy! Punish Me!

When I woke up I was in an empty motel room and Sergeant Head was knocking at
the door. Then when I put my shirt on I felt this burning stinging sensation all over
my back.


As he spoke Mrs. Lovenuts began to gently kiss her poor husband while
unbuttoning his shirt and pants. As she worked he way down his chest and then
around his waist to his buttocks here eyes opened wide and she gasped with
horror.

His entire back and butt were covered with scratches and welts which seemed to
resemble the design on Adonis’s belt among other things.

Has Mrs. Lovenuts decided to give up her depraved lifestyle? …Or is she just having
a queer eye for the hardware guy?

Watch for the next episode of River City USA!


                                          Episode 4

           
                 Oh Holy Night

It was late afternoon on the day before Christmas. There was a light snow falling
and the crowds of last minute shoppers were beginning to dwindle. Sitting at the
end of the bar in the Lancelot Chop House was a particularly pretty young woman.
She was playing with a diamond pendant, sliding it back and forth on a thin gold
chain that disappeared around her neck in tresses of long wavy brown hair.  
Occasionally she would stop to check and make sure that her cell phone was turned
on.

She was just finishing her forth Tangere and tonic and was growing more and
more impatient by the minute. As she ordered another, the bartender announced, I
am going to have to ask you to pay for what you have already had first.

She told him to charge it to the mayor as usual.

I’m sorry he replied but I have been given instructions that there were to be no
further charges to his account unless he signed for them himself.

Well he’ll be here any minute she replied.

I’m sorry, but you will have to pay, he said firmly.

Very well then, she replied as she began opening a small black leather handbag.
After a short period of searching she pulled out a ball of crumpled bills and began
to flatten them on the bar and then pushing them forward she asked, “Is that
enough”.

That will do, he replied.

Suddenly the door opened behind her and with a gust of wind and snow, in came
Adonis Lovenuts. The frustrated look on her face had now changed and her slightly
glassy eyes lit up as she jumped to her feet greeting the mayor of River City with a
prolonged kiss. Prying her arms from around his neck and coaxing her towards the
end of the bar Adonis cautioned her against such a public showing of affection but
his words seemed to fall on deaf ears as she continued to hug and caress the man
who she obviously adored.

Stop Kimberly, he insisted, pushing her away.

OK! OK!  She whispered as she walked back to her stool. She picked up her purse,
left an adequate tip and threw back the remainder of her drink. Then turning on
one heel she faced Adonis and announced that she was ready to go.

The sparkle in her eyes disappeared as quickly as the smile from her lips as Adonis
told her that there had been a change in plans. He would not be able to take her to
the Republican Christmas party as promised. Some urgent city business had come
up and he would have to work at least until 1:00 AM and then he must go home
and put in an appearance.

But I thought you were going to spend the night with me. I have something
important I have to tell you.  You promised dam it! Without thinking she slapped
him in the face surprising even herself.

Just as quickly he slapped her back only his was much harder and it drew blood in
the corner of her mouth. Handing her a handkerchief he ordered her to go to the
ladies room and fix herself up before some one saw her “like that.” As she walked
thought the dining area several customers looked up at the sobbing young woman
and then back to see where she had come from.

Just then the mayor’s cell phone rang.  Amber he exclaimed, yes I love you too. I
should be able to get away at about 1:30. I can’t wait to give you your present.

Adonis told the bartender to give Kimberly another drink and paid for it with his
River City Master Card. Then glancing at his watch he turned and left as abruptly as
he had entered.

When she returned Kimberly looked quickly all around the bar and then at the
bartender who said nothing. He just pointed toward the door. She ran to the door
and out into the wind and snow but Adonis was nowhere in sight. Slowly she
walked back in and up to the bar. The bartender pushed a fresh drink toward her.
She slumped forward with her elbows on the bar and began to sip. When all was
gone she ordered another but the bartender told her “I think you have had
enough.”

Slowly she got up and while leaning against the bar put on her coat and gloves.

There was a definite stagger in her gate as she made her way to the door. Outside
it was now quite dark and the snowflakes were very large and falling faster. They
seemed to deaden the sound of Christmas carols that were playing from the
outdoor speaker of some nearby store. She made her way to the corner and turned
down the side street. The steps on the sidewalk were slippery and she fell
backward landing in a sitting position on the cold and snowy concrete. She
gathered her thoughts for a moment and then grabbing the handrail pulled herself
to her feet. A few doors down the sidewalk was another bar but when she pulled
on the door it was stuck, perhaps from the snow and ice. She grabbed the door
handle with both hands but it wouldn’t budge. Then she realized they were closed.
Just as well she thought, I’ll stop at the coffee shop down at the corner, and warm
up before driving home.

As she reached the corner the lights went out at the coffee shop and the owner
was putting the closed signs in the window. There would be no warm drink or chair
to rest in.

Through and opening in the buildings she could again hear the carols on the loud
speaker. Aaron Neville was singing.

Oh holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

The ankle deep snow was slippery and treacherous and falling even faster as she
walked down to where she had parked by the river. With a push of a button the car
was remotely started and unlocked. She opened the door but stopped short of
getting in. Taking out her cell phone she tried to call Adonis but there was no
answer. She removed the glove from her shivering right hand and dropped it on
the front seat along with the phone. Then reaching to her throat she grabbed the
diamond pendant and pulled it from her neck breaking its fragile chain.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
The thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn


Staggering as much from the alcohol as she was from the chilling cold she slowly
made her way to the rivers edge. The snow had totally covered her long brown hair
and clothing such that she was no longer visible. Within minutes even her footsteps
had vanished in the relentless unending snow.

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night...divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night...divine



At 1:30 AM a river city snowplow reported an unattended vehicle in the municipal
parking lot near the river.

At 1:35 officer Brandon Conroy of the River City Police responded along with a tow
truck from the Department of Works. According to officer Conroy’s report the
owner was Kimberly Smith and the following items were recovered from the front
seat of the vehicle:

1- Woman’s right hand glove.
1- Cell phone
1- Pregnancy test kit

Oh……. night
Oh…........ night...........divine.............


Episode # 5  

Happy New Year

December 31, 2004 was a balmy day. It was unseasonably warm and Southerly
winds and recent rains had removed all traces of winter from River City.

As darkness came the streets and stores were once again full of last minute
shoppers. Some were looking for that 50% deal on Christmas items before they
were removed from the shelves for good and others were picking up that pound of
shrimp, bottle of wine, case of beer or six-pack of soda that had been neglected up
to this point.

Even I was caught in the ebb and flow human kind that was preparing for the last
night of 2004 and the first holiday of the New Year. I stood in line for some time at
a busy River City meat market perusing the choice cuts and listening to the
customers order crown roasts, prime rib, strip steaks and delmonicos. It was a
carnivore’s paradise and I was so involved in it all that I never noticed that right
next to me stood an old classmate from River City High School.

All of a sudden the young man behind the counter was calling next, …NEXT! ….Who
is next! I turned and motioned to the man at my side just as he turned and
motioned to me, and at the same time we each realized who the other was. Just as
surprising was the fact that I remembered his name and spoke it without thinking.
He turned and began to give his order and I remember nothing more of him
because my eyes had now focused on a woman at the far end of the display case.

It was the wife of Adonis P. Lovenuts, mayor of River City.

She was tall for a woman and slender for her age but other than that I don’t recall
much. I could only see the young girl I once knew. While still junior high school
students, she and her sister would come with friends from a nearby town to dances
at the local high school. The two were quite naive and danced so close that they
often unwittingly aroused their young partners.

The two sisters quickly became the popular topic of many a locker room
conversation, but this was a long time ago. Now she was married to Adonis and
Lola Lovenuts was now the talk of River City.

Announcing her name like it was the sign of royalty she asked if her order was
ready. The owner of the market called to the back room asking if the platters were
ready for Mrs. Lovenuts. Quickly she interrupted telling him not to forget the salami
as they had done before.

The shoppers had become noticeably quiet and more than one had snuck a
sideways glance to see the drama that was being created over some missing salami.

Make sure it is only the hard salami I am not going to waste Genoa on these people
she further instructed.

A couple standing near to me looked at each other with raised eyebrows and then
the husband leaned over to his wife and whispered, “I wonder if they are going to
eat it, or hide it”. With that she gave him a swift elbow to the lower ribs and turned
away so as not to be seen laughing at the comment.

Oh and I’ll have six of those nice long German style hotdogs too, Lola further
instructed.

Once again the husband turned to his wife and out of the corner of his mouth said,
do you suppose they are going to bar b que them or just slip them in the oven? The
wife couldn’t take it any more and hurried down the canned goods isle before she
burst out laughing.

It was a classic River City moment but only the prelude to the events that were
about to unfold that evening.

THE PARTY

It was approaching 8:30 PM and the selected guests began arriving at the bar in
the River City Motel, for the mayor’s New Years Eve party.

Adonis Lovenuts had already been warming a stool and schmoozing the female
patrons for a good half an hour when Rhonie Ginzorini, river City’s commissioner of
flows and goes made his appearance.

From head to toe, which wasn’t very far, he looked like some freakish creature from
Madame Tussaud's that had come to life. He had jet-black shoulder length hair that
was over due for an oil change and was dressed entirely in black except for a white
shirt that was opened far enough to expose a couple yards of gold chain around his
neck. Including the high-healed snake skinned cowboy boots he stood all of four
feet eleven and one-quarter inches. If midgets have a Mafia, he was certainly their
godfather.

Dripping oil from every pore he oozed his way across the floor and with
considerable effort hoisted himself up onto the stool next to Adonis.

Without being asked the bartender brought him his customary banana daiquiri.

Did you find anyone Adonis asked?

Yeah I invited three b!tches that were hanging at Lancelot’s. They looked about 16
maybe 17 and said that they wanted to party so I told them to come over about 9:
00.

I can always count on you Rhonie, Adonis told him as he patted him on the back
and rubbed his shoulder. I have been working on these two waitresses. We might
just get one of them he quipped as Rhonie grinned and said the more the merrier.

A few drinks later the three girls showed up. Despite their make up and attire they
were still obviously teenagers.

Rhonie waved signaling them to come over and Adonis sprang to his feet as Rhonie
introduced him as the Mayor of River City. It is always a pleasure to meet such
pretty and attractive young ladies he told them.

Rhonie called the bartender over and asked them what they wanted to drink, but
the bartender shook his head telling Adonis he was sorry but he could not risk
serving them tonight as there were ABC agents rumored to watching the bars in
River City the passed few days.

Insisting that they were of age the girls began to produce their IDs but Adonis told
them it wasn’t necessary because it was time to join the others at the party.

As they started for the door their progress was abruptly halted by an out-stretched
leg. Not so fast a voice called out. The leg was as thick as a fence post and attached
to a large rotund woman of some years. It was Heidi Frankfort the River City Clerk.  
As she attempted to stand she fell forward grasping Adonis in a bear hug. With the
help of Rhonie and the three girls they stabilized her and sat her back on the stool.

Do you know how long I have been sitting here she bellowed. Before anyone could
answer she said ,… “Too God Damn Long!” and then she questioned,  “Where is
this party at.”  

Adonis quickly gathered his wits and began to explain that there had been some
mix up with the room they had reserved and he and Rhonie were going walk these
young ladies to their car and then go straighten it all out. When everything was set
up they would come back and get her. Let me by you another drink. What are you
having, Adonis said as he slipped the bartender a twenty.  

She thought for a minute and then slurred the words SSSSSHHHHHHiiirrrrlye
Temple.

Just then Heidi put one arm around Adonis’ neck and pulled him close so she could
whisper in his ear. Are we going to play my favorite game, hide the frankfurter, she
asked?

Of course, of course he replied as he held up two fingers signaling the bartender to
make it a double. We’ll be right back as soon as everything is straightened out.

With that she clasped Adonis’ face in her large hands and planted a big wet one
right on his lips leaving a large red imprint that took three tissues to remove.

Then the bartender brought her drink and said here you are Misses Hotdog.

Hotdog, she repeated!……. The name is Frankfort!

Do you know who I am, she questioned?

Seizing the opportunity Adonis and the others made their escape.

Arm in arm the five of them left the bar and headed for the elevators.

When they reached the top of the six-story building Rhonie announced
“Penthouse” everyone out.

The girls all giggled and one of them asked if there was really a penthouse.

No, replied Adonis, but they do call this the mayoral suite. At that moment they had
come to room 666, and as Rhonie opened the door he declared start the party
Adonis is here.

The room was remarkably well appointed for a River City motel or for that matter
any motel at all. In the far corner was a large hot tub and nearby was a table with
the two platters of cheese and cold cuts and assorted soft beverages.  There was a
small portable bar opposite the hot tub and behind it stood Vinnie Dolittle one of
River City’s prominent aldermen. Motioning with his left hand and then the right
across the top of the bar, he asked what is your pleasure.

On one side there were several bottles of lower shelf alcohol and the other was
lined with several evenly spaced rows of a fine white powder. One of the girls
asked for a whiskey and coke and the other two headed right for the powder.

Where are the girls, Rhonie inquired?  Dolittle pointed at the door to the adjoining
suite.

Quietly Rhonie turned the handle and opened the door just a crack. After watching
for what seemed like a good ten minutes, he closed the door and said I think they
are going to be busy for awhile.

Rhonie headed for the bar where Adonis and Dolittle were vacuuming the lines from
the bar with stir sticks.

By this time the three girls had stripped naked and were in the hot tub.

Get these ladies something to drink Adonis said.

Sure thing mayor, anything you say mayor, replied Dolittle as he popped the plastic
cork from a bottle of Cold Duck and proceeded to fill a tray of plastic champagne
glasses.
Here you go ladies, mayor, and Rhonie.

Now go see if the girls are ready, ordered Adonis.

Right on it, your honor, Vinnie replied, as he knocked on the door and asked is
everyone indecent in there?

We’ll be out in a minute called a voice from within.

In a few minutes the door opened just a crack and a long slender arm reached out.
Between the thumb and forefinger dangled a long German style hotdog. The voice
called out again, Rhonie…..come here Rhonie. Like a trained dog he ran over to the
door and took the hotdog in his teeth and biting off the end, he began to eat it.
Now sit like a good boy and you can have the rest of it, the voice said.

Rhonie dropped to his knees and looked up just as the remainder fell and he caught
it in his mouth and ate the rest of it.

Just then the door opened.  A bare and slightly muscular leg thrust itself out and a
black satin pump with sharp pointed toe and four-inch stiletto heel pushed Rhonie
to the floor as Bianna Ginzorini made her entrance.

Wearing nothing but a black leather thong, she marched across the room like a Nazi
storm trooper, as she headed for the hot tub. With each step her buttocks giggled
like a sack full of Jell-O and Rhonie stared from behind with an impish grin on his
face.

Only seconds later, Lola Lovenuts emerged from the room wearing nothing but a
shear black teddy. She dropped another hotdog on the floor next to Rhonie saying,
here, you pathetic little man. Then she went straight to the bar and told Vinnie to
give her a glass of champagne.

Dolittle began to hold out one of the glasses of cold duck that he had already
poured and she knocked it out of his hand.  

Do you have to be told everything she questioned? What‘s that behind you, she
asked?

Under a white linen towel was a bottle of Dom Perione in a bucket of ice.

Nervously, he fumbled and pried until the cork came out and he poured it into a
crystal goblet that Lola had taken from a shelf under the bar. Can I get you
anything else Lola? I mean Mrs. Lovenuts.

That depends on what you had in mind, she said without even looking at him. She
was now gazing across the room at Adonis and smiling as she toasted him with the
glass in her left hand.    At the same, time she was running her right hand up the
inner thigh of Vinnie Dolittle. OOOOh what’s this she said? Down boy, down, she
said grabbing a handful of his manhood and squeezing.

Tears welled up in Vinnie’s eyes, but Lola never saw them because she never
looked at him the whole time. Her eyes were on the hot tub, where Bianna had
already begun to make a move on one of their three young guests.

As she slowly walked across the room Lola’s eyes were carefully scrutinizing the
three young girls. Stopping short of the tub she motioned with her finger, for two
of them to move apart and make room for her. She set down her glass and in an
abbreviated striptease, she shed the see through teddy and slipped into the tub.

Adonis asked why Rhonie had not joined in and chided him for still having his
clothes on.

The comments, raised several eyebrows, among the women but they continued
uninterrupted, with their passionate foreplay.

Slowly Rhonie shed his layers of black clothes until all he had on was a black
studded leather thong and a few yards of gold chain. He looked like an art deco
sumo wrestler in miniature.

Slowly, he began to climb up the step stool that had been provided especially for
him.  When he got to the top of the hot tub he started to lose his balance from the
weight of the chains. Their rattling and jingling gave just enough warning to the
others to get out of the way, before he fell head first into the middle of this caldron
of human soup.

Almost in unison the women all exclaimed ….EEEwwwww!!!!

His head had become wedged between the muscular thighs of Bianna who was
saying good boy Rhonie you know just what mama likes. All that was visible were
his two little feet that were kicking frantically just above the surface.

Finally she let go and he bobbed to the surface like a beach ball gasping for air,
coughing and spitting out water.

Once again there was heard a long and pronounced.. E..W..W..W.!!

The level of bodily fluids had now reached the point of critical mass and Lola,
Bianna and the three girls made a quick exit and scampered off to the adjoining
room, leaving a trail of wet footprints across the carpet.

Adonis stood in the window looking out over River City and drying himself with the
window curtain. Rhonie had found some party napkins to dry his hair, which he had
pulled back into a ponytail and Vinnie was pretending to be doing something under
the bar.  He had snatched up Lola’s teddy while no one was looking and had it
pressed to his face taking long, deep, breaths.

Without his realizing it Adonis had walked over and was now standing next to
Dolittle.

You know you are a real sicko Vinnie, shouted Adonis as he turned and walked
away.

I was just holding it for her so it wouldn’t get lost, boss. Honest! That is all I was
doing.

Never mind snapped Adonis. Do you have the camera set up Dolittle?

Right your honor. I got extra tape and batteries too.

Good, said Adonis, get you a$$ in there and sit in that chair in the corner and stay
there.

Rhonie, for some reason the ladies don’t seem to have warmed up to you yet, so
wait till things get going before you join in.

OK…OK….it must be the cologne said Rhonnie as he sniffed his underarms.

Adonis found his pants and the comb in the back pocket and then he stood in front
of the mirror combing and preening until every hair from head to crotch was
exactly in place. Then he took a deep, breath sucking in his stomach, before
entering the bedroom.

The bed had been dismantled and the king sized mattress was lying on the floor. On
it, the five women had already begun their entangled lovemaking.  There were
scented candles burning everywhere there was a surface to put one and a silent TV
screen was tuned in to the crowds of people gathered in Times Square.  

Adoinis knelt down, intuitively turning his good side to the camera and then
attempted to join in. Unfortunately, "Captain Happy" would not come to attention.
Walking on his knees, he made his way over to the nightstand, where he had
hidden his stash of Viagara. He set the plastic container on the table and washed
down one of the pills.

Don’t be greedy, one of the young girls said, as she snatched up the container,
pretending to take one of them herself. Here let’s all have one, and she gave them
to Lola, Bianna, Rhonie and Vinnie, but not her two friends. Now take one of these
she said, as she handed out her private stock of Ecstasy.

Within minutes, things really got crazy.

Two of the girls left the room and began getting dressed, while the third took
Dolittle’s place behind the camera.

There were so many arms and legs flailing about, that in the dim light, it was
impossible to tell where one body began and the other left off. One minute they
were all on the floor poking, prodding and gnawing on each other like a can full of
carnivorous worms.

The next minute, Rhonie, Dolittle and Adonis were on all fours "nuts to buts,"
humping each other like dogs in heat, while Lola and Bianna were sucking on each
other like a couple of newborns.

They never noticed when the third girl slipped out of the room with the videotapes.
In seconds her friends helped her get dressed and they were off.

Giggling and laughing, they made their way to the elevator, where Heidi Frankfort
was just staggering off with a fresh Shirley Temple in her hand.

Hey I know you, she said. Where is that Adonis Lovenuts at, she demanded?

Right down the hall in room 666. It’s the mayoral suite you know.
Say, just between us girls, you look like you might have had a little too much to
drink they told her. So here take these two pills and they will sober you right up,
and don’t bother to knock... the door is open, go right in.

Just between us girls, Heidi said, I have a little bit of a crush on Adonis, so I am not
sorry to see that you are leaving.

Well, he has been talking about you all night, they said. Have a good time!

They parted company and the girls laughed hysterically all the way down in the
elevator.

As the doors opened in the lobby, the ball had just fallen and everyone on TV and
in the bar at the River City Motel was singing.

Immediately the three broke out into song,    

"Should old acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind" ?

Just then, the one in the middle pulled one of the videotapes out of her purse and
waving it like a flag, exclaimed.  I don’t think so!

Laughing like fools they went arm in arm through the front doors and into the
beginning of a new year in River City.




The events and characters portrayed in River City are in no way meant reflect the actions or lives of real individuals
and any supposed resemblance to real people or other cities is purely coincidental.

This site is the sole property of Traditional Family Builders Inc. All articles and the
material content of this site are protected by U.S. copyright law and the exemption
for fair use of copyrighted works. Any use of or reproduction of the material
content or postings on this site without the expressed permission of its owners is
forbidden.          
Since September 22/2003  -  aka oswegolion