AUNT BIDDY
WORDS OF WISDOM * HELPFUL HINTS * ADVICE TO THE LOVE STRICKEN AND THOSE WHO ARE COMMONSENSE CHALLANGED.
Send your comments and questions to
auntbiddy@oswegonylion.com
Surely, a rose ,by anyother name ,would not be as sweet.
Aunt Blabbie
O'Leary
REFUND for OFD CALENDER?
Dear Aunt Biddy,
Hi. Are you going to refund the $24.00 to those of us who bought the Oswego Fireman's Calender for 2007? Or should I just rip out April, Spring Chicken-T.A . and August-Sugar Daddy- E. G.? It was a funny Calender.
Nightie Firefly
Dear Nightie,
You can do whatever you want with that Calender. You could use the month's of April and August to start an Autumn BOMB FIRE on a local beach. Or you can put it through a shredder.
There will be no refunds, as the money has gone to a needy source, and it wasn't Amedio's and Geer's Defense Fund..
Thanks for asking,
Aunt Biddy
Aunt Biddy,
Who was that man in Drag on your nephew's site on Wednesday morning. If he got rid of that wig, balloons, bikini, and wiggle when he walked, I might hunt him down. LMAO.
Curly Q.
Dear Curly,
You sound so much like Blabbie yesterday. I am not really sure who he is, just some man who made an idiot out of himself, supposedly he is top notch fireman also.
You really need to stay away from men like him, as the song goes,"Where have all the good men gone?"
I am glad I have got Arch, he's one of the few good ones who are left.
Aunt Biddy
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Dear Biddy,
I heard that Blabbie and you had a Egg Hunt on Friday for the neighborhood children, how did that go?
Bunny Taylor
Dear Bunny,
Yes indeed we had a hunt. I had called Arch around 12 noon to see that he remembered to decorate the backyard with the decorations. He had. He also told me that he had given Blabbie some money to buy 10 pkgs. of Cadbury Eggs and that she had eaten 3 of the pkgs. on the way home from the store! I said don't worry about it, we had other treats I made to give out also.
When I arrived home, Blabbie had been gone for over an hour. Arch was upset because she had said she was going to help out.
It was 1:30 pm and the children were starting to arrive.
Arch and I had just finished hiding the 60 plastic eggs with dimes and quarters in them. Blabbie still didn't show up. Arch rang a bell and the 10 guests started to hunt for the eggs. They got their eggs and settled down for treats and lemonaide.
The children were having a good time when we heard
a voice singing, 'here comes Peter Cottontail'. From behind the bush, a very sloshed Blabbie came. Dressed in an original Hugh Hefner Pink Sequined Bunny Suit from the 50's, Blabbie hopped out into the clearing (Blabbie later told us she had bought the suit on Ebay). A small child ran to us and the others were laughing. In her hand she had a large glass of Gray Goose Vodka with a carrot stick in it. On her head she was wearing what was left of a bunny hat which was missing one of its ears. The tail was hanging by a few threads and she was wearing pale pink UGGs on her feet!
I eventually got her to hop her way into the den and she collapsed on the futon. I immediately covered her up. I had asked her to rent a bunny suit for the hunt, but not what she showed up in.
Outside the the children were collecting their little gifts, after playing several games. The parents arrived to get them and thanked us for the special time we had had for their children. We smiled and said we had fun and we will see them all next year.
In the distance we could hear the faint words to, 'hear comes Peter Cottontail'. We looked towards the porch and Aunt Blabbie appeared at the door. She asked if we had some hot sauce for her belly and some ice for her head!
HAVE A HAPPY EASTER WEEKEND!
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Dear Aunt Biddy,
How was your St. Patrick's Day? Did you and Arch go to the Hibernians Club this year?
Fiona O'Hara
Dear Fiona,
Thanks for asking Fiona. This year we decided to stay home and I cooked Corned Beef & Cabbage with a ginger-mustard-brown sugar glaze, with potatoes, carrots, and turnips. Arch ate like there was no tomorrow. We had rye bread also. For desert I made a Key Lime Pie with fresh whipped cream. Everything was delicious. We finished up the meal with a cup of hot green tea.
About 8 o'clock, Arch started complaining that his gallbladder was acting up. I gave him a few herbal lax capsules with a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil and massaged his back gently. Suddenly he said he had horrible cramps. I told him to go into the bathroom and read the "Farmers Almanac" for a bit. He did and he said he released some gas and was feeling a little better.
Around 9 o'clock he said lets go to bed. We no sooner got in bed and the symphony started. Between the moaning, belching and the toot toots, I had had it. I got up, graped my pillows and headed for the guest room. Arch was whining and said, 'don't leave me, I will put the air purifier on, come on back.' I kept walking.
I climbed into the guest room bed and a few seconds later, Sarge 'n Olive, my 4 month old golden labs jumped on the bed. They walked around until they could find a spot to stretch out and sleep. It wasn't long until we were all sleeping.
In the morning we woke up to Arch singing, 'OH how I hate to get up in the morning.' I opened my eyes, he looked so ill, almost green. He was standing in the doorway of the guest room.
I asked if he wanted corn beef hash for breakfast. He said no, in fact he didn't think he would never eat Corned Beef and Cabbage again. I said maybe a Corned Beef on Rye would work well with your sensitive digestive system, he groaned and got into the bed. When I left him, the pups wre licking his face.
'Well Fiona, I think if he hadn't had that extra helping of Corn Beef and Cabbage he would have been OK. But I have never seen Arch ever refuse food when it is offered to him!'
"HAVE A HAPPY ST. PAT'S WEEKEND!"
Aunt Biddy
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Aunt Biddy,
Your nephew said he was laughing his A$$ off about some lying rubber boobed bimbo. There is a epidemic in our country, even among very young women to to get false boobies. What do you think? Also, who do think this Emma Goldman is? Is the LION really 7-8 yrs. old?
Rosie O'Grady
Dear Rosie,
First of all it was nice to get a letter again from you today.
We all know women who have gone through Breast Reconstruction because of breast cancer. That's what implants or other types of Breast Reconstruction should be limited to. Have you ever been shopping and ran into a old friend who has gone from a 'A' to a 'D' cup since your last saw her? We did and turned our heads and laughed. It was obvious that she had implants, because nothing else changed on her.
The media in our country works at making women feel bad about themselves. Every woman has struggles as she gets older, things sag, skin gets drier, etc. There are products on the market can help all of us, like a good bra and lotions. Exercise helps also.
[Drinking Alcoholic products excessively can dry our skin out, women need to remember that]
Americans seem to be obsessed with plastic surgery, if it is needed for health reasons, do it. We saw a show were a 16 yr. old girl got implants because she didn't have a bounce, if she had waited a few more years she would have had that bounce. Her parents paid thousands of dollars for her surgery. I don't think medical insurance pays for implants except for those women who have had breast cancer or for those who need Breast Reductions.
Has anybody heard of City of Oswego employees getting implants just because they wanted them? I hope the medical insurance provider for the City of Oswego hasn't provide this for any women, except for Breast Cancer Survivors.
Emma Golden-We looked her name up in local phone books, and on Goggle.
There was a Emma Golden who died in 1940 in Toronto, she was an author and wrote her own autobiography, "Living My Life". We did see a program on PBS about her once sometime last year. She was also a well known Feminist.
The post written on the LION, was written to stir up the pot more about the slumlords. We could see them doing some of those things because they are always looking for new venues in this city, and of course their rentals are way over priced.
DRAGNET: The LION has been on-line since September 22, 2003. So to the reader who said they have been reading DRAGNET for 7-8 years...you must have been reading it elsewhere, as the LION will be 4 yrs. old on September 22, 2007. You were reading it here for 7-8 years.
Aunt Biddy [and Arch]
Mar. 6/07
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